Mother-in-law's too high expectations letter to Rabbi Brody

Mother-in-law's too high expectations

Dear Rabbi Brody,

I have written to you before and you have been so helpful in the past. Perhaps you can advise me now. I underwent surgery about 2 weeks ago and I am now recovering at home and doing well, baruch Hashem. My son and daughter in law called me at the hospital every day. But now that I am home I only hear from them every 5 or 6 days. My son works 5 days a week and they have 4 wonderful young children. I am trying very hard not to feel as if they are not interested in my daily progress, but, to tell you the truth, that is how I do feel. I have tried to give the benefit of the doubt... but it is not working. Please help me. With thanks, Frida from Flatbush

B"H Dear Frida,

The more you have expectations, the more you are disappointed (see The Trail to Tranquility, pp. 55-56). You have lots of free time while you're recovering, but your son and daughter in law are up-to-the-eyeballs busy raising children and making a living. One cannot attain happiness from self-indulgence or dependency on others. When you were hospitalized, your son and daughter in-law were on high alert so they called every day out of concern; but, one can't be on high alert perpetually. On a routine basis, it's terrific for a daughter in law to call every 5 days! Thank Hashem for your marvelous good fortune rather than complain. You are blessed, so be happy! It's important to judge others fairly. Would you believe that many women complain to me that their daughters in-law call them less than once a month? You are indeed a lucky woman. Don't ever forget that Hashem does everything for the best. Blessings and a speedy recovery, LB

Dear Rabbi Brody,

WOW! your letter was great. I guess I needed some strong and on target words from  you, Rabbi. What a mitzvah you had. I cannot thank you enough. I printed out this letter and put it on my refrigerator door. Perhaps you might consider a book related to questions people have asked you over the years and your wonderful responses. Thanks so much, Frida