The Shalom Bayit or Marital Happiness blog: September 2013

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Meet Emuna Outreach

Emuna Outreach has grown tremendously, so much so that Rabbi Lazer Brody could no longer handle the entire organization on his own. As such, he was forced to temporarily discontinue operations since last July, and as a result, was not accepting donations. But, as they say in Hebrew, the bitter has yielded the sweet. Emuna Outreach is now an integral part of Breslev Israel and the Chut Shel Chesed Institutions, under the auspices of Rabbi Shalom Arush shlit'a. Scroll down to read the whole story:

Above image: Emuna Outreach mascot, designed by Yaacov Kirschen of "Dry Bones" fame

What do the US troops in Afghanistan have in common with the First Nations of northern Ontario and the Noahides of Singapore? They're all learning about emuna...

In 2004, an American talk-show host interviewed Rabbi Lazer Brody. He thought that it was rather novel to host a Chassidic rabbi on his show who was also a special-ops combat veteran of Israel's Defense Forces. The interviewer asked, "Rabbi Brody, what's your dream in life?"

"I want to make the word emuna even more internationally well-known than Coca Cola." That same year, Rabbi Lazer Brody took the first step in realizing his dream goal by founding Emuna Outreach.

For nine years, from August of 2004 until July of 2013, Emuna Outreach was virtually a one-man operation. With the help of dedicated volunteers and supporters around the globe, Rabbi Brody did his utmost in spreading the concept of emuna - pure and simple faith in The Almighty - in places where it was needed most: in combat zones, in prisons and in hospitals.

Tirelessly, Rabbi Brody personally spent extensive time with soldiers of the IDF on all of Israel's borders, teaching them how emuna enables them to function better under extreme stress. He regularly visited the wounded in rehabilitation centers and prison inmates in the process of rebuilding their lives. To places where he couldn't be personally, such as among the US Forces in Iraq and in Afghanistan, he'd send care packages of emuna books and CDs. Emuna Outreach has also worked extensively with the Aleph Institute, spreading emuna both in the American military and in the US prison system.

If that's not enough, Emuna Outreach sponsored emuna-awareness programs for as varied segments of the population as senior-citizens, toddlers and members of the International Noahide community, reaching as varied places as the Noahide community in Singapore and the native Americans of Texas, Tennessee and northern Canada.

But the job just became too prodigious for one individual to handle. So, in July of 2013, Rabbi Brody turned to the Minister of Emuna himself, his beloved teacher and spiritual guide Rabbi Shalom Arush, and asked for help so that the spread of emuna would not stop, Heaven forbid! As a result, Breslev Israel and the Chut Shel Chesed Institutions, both under the auspices of Rabbi Arush, have now taken Emuna Outreach under their wing. No longer a one-man organization, Emuna Outreach hopes to spread emuna on an even greater scale.

Rabbi Brody today is exclusively employed by Breslev Israel and his work in Emuna Outreach is completely under the auspices of Rav Arush, Breslev Israel and the Chut Shel Chesed Institutions.

Your generous support of Emuna Outreach is IRS-recognized and tax deductible. Have a look at our scrapbook to see what happens to the money you so generously donate:

1: Encouraging IDF troops on the Gaza Border

2. Jewish soldiers of US Army helicopter crew in Taji, Iraq (2006)

3. Emuna Outreach with injured IDF soldier after Cast-Lead Operation in Gaza, 2009

4. Thank-you note from Aleph Institute to Emuna Outreach

5. Distributing Emuna books and CDs to IDF soldiers on Jordan border

6. Emuna Outreach with senior citizens

7. Emuna Oureach with youth

You can become a partner in helping Breslev Israel spread emuna the world over by clicking on the "Support Emunah Outreach" donation button on the top right-hand toolbar of this site. As Rav Shalom Arush says, there is no greater mitzva.

- See more at: http://lazerbrody.typepad.com/#sthash.lMIq4u5w.dpuf

Video: My Most Important Piece of Marriage Advice

Embarrassed by Spouse

“Honey, How Could You?” read the title of the recent WSJ piece. Apparently many of us are at risk of being embarrassed by our spouses and of wanting to just run away and hide as a result.

There are two types of embarrassment. One (the one we are NOT dealing with here) is where your spouse, intentionally or un, targets you for embarrassment – either through teasing that can range from allegedly good-natured to downright cruel (and possibly abusive) or through revealing private information – which may run a similar spectrum.

The other type is when your husband or wife says or does something, perhaps silly or foolish, that embarrasses you.

Why are we embarrassed? Frequently it is because we imagine that people are laughing at our partner – and therefore us too by association. Or we think that they are looking at him (and therefore us too!) with disdain or contempt. We are embarrassed to be linked with someone who behaves like that, who thinks like that, who is the target of the scorn or derision of others, the butt of their humor. What does that say about me? My judgment? My choices? We feel judged and found wanting.

We should never be embarrassed by our spouses.

But what’s wrong with this scenario? Just like we should never be embarrassed by our children (so they should know we ALWAYS have their back), we should never be embarrassed by our spouses. Our first and most important commitment is to them. Our loyalty is to them. Our support is to them.

Whose opinion is more valuable to us than theirs? What do we care about how other people, who are less important to us, whose opinion if accessed objectively is actually irrelevant or certainly flawed, respond?

When my children would come home from school complaining about name calling, my husband would always ask them if it was true and if it came from someone whose opinion they valued. The answer to both questions was always no. I still remember an incident from college. My dorm mother complimented me on the dress I was wearing. I floated through the day feeling very good about myself until I remembered she was the same person who had chosen the really dreadful material for the couches in the common room. Her opinion shouldn’t have had the weight to inflate or deflate my sense of self.

What does it say about our marriage and our commitment that we are so vulnerable to the opinions of others? What does it say about us and our sense of self-worth?

Please God, if you have many years together, your spouse will inevitably say and do some foolish things along the way (yes even your spouse). And, believe it or not, so will you. But whatever you say or do, you want your partner’s support. You want to know they’ve got your back – even when you make a mistake or exercise less than stellar judgment.

An individual sense of embarrassment can be a healthy thing. It may prevent us from behaving in ways that we later regret, that are a source of shame. It may act as a fence against loss of control or foolhardy behavior. It keeps us in check. It’s a good personal tool for self-control.

But the key is self-control. We don’t want to control our spouses (well, maybe we do but that’s another problem!). Our job is not to keep them in check (although we may sometimes need to gently suggest that certain behaviors should be scaled back). Our job is to be supportive, however they act, whatever they do. We don’t want our husband or wife to ever be embarrassed by us. And we need to respond in kind. With unconditional love and support. Whatever they say (however bad the joke!) and whatever they do.